Not a product tour. One fictional Czech manufacturer, five moves, and an adversary who gets a turn.

The auditor asks how many certificates you hold and which algorithms — nobody can answer. A wildcard certificate on a payment endpoint expires at 02:14 on a Sunday. The board asks for a post-quantum migration plan with a date on it. An agent in the CI pipeline starts requesting code-signing at three times its normal rate.

The room votes on each response. Every product appears once, in the role it actually plays.